Lonely Planet Boy

I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm...the world's forgotten boy. So I had to share some space on the bus today with a stinker in the morning and a stinker in the evening. The first was a large man with a soiled flannel, untied boots and stringy hair. The second was your average poopy-smelling guy. Invading my nasal cavities, both of their scents offended my sense. Of smell that is.

State of the Union speech tonight. Pretty uneventful. He just kind of reiterated previous assertions and maintained his convictions. As expected, he's still marching to the rhythm of some drum I'll probably never hear. But he called out some guy in the crowd, a conspicuously seated black man, who gave the pres. the thumbs up and pointed back at him while mouthing the words 'you the man' as if Bush had just thrown him the game-clinching touchdown pass. I think I must've missed something.

So this is one of the beers that I like to drink. Henry Weinhard's Blue Boar Pale Ale is "a smooth, aromatic, Irish-style pale ale...crafted using premium Columbia Valley two-row barley and double-hopped with Cascade hops for easy-drinking flavor." You can find it in any NW grocery store, quickie mart or gas station and it's often pretty cheap. I like drinking it, it makes me feel cool and a little sophisticated. It's a poor man's microbrew and it's a northwest staple. But, strangely enough, I've never seen it on tap. Anyway, the packaging was always really cool to me. The design was carried over onto the bottle's label as well. It looked really old and classic--hell, there was a boar on a crest surrounded by barley and old-timey script. The boar was depicted in profile with gnarly tusks justting out from under his lips. It looked like an etching or something in a really dated style. If anything, it was familiar to me. So I go to pick some up at the local retailer, Frederick Meyer's in this case, and walk down the beer aisle. Not finding what I sought, I walked back up the aisle, this time paying closer attention and scrutinizing the section where I expected to find my elusive elixir. Yet again, I was skunked. Where was the damn Henry's man? I wanted that green bottle with the boar so I could empty its contents into my belly. In due time I found it, but upon closer inspection, it was clear that the packaging with which I had become so familiar had been changed. And for the worse, I might add. The original design had been suspended in place of something far more plain, bland and less distinct. See for yourself. I wonder how many other people walked right by this without noticing it. Whoever's running the show over at Henry's blew it. That thing looks busted man. Buckled and boring. I suppose I'll still drink it though. Maybe I oughta just get a cool coozy to mask the new label.EAT A TWIX BAR, LISTEN TO DUSTY SPRINGFIELD, TREAD LIGHTLY