alcohol roundup

People drink for a number of reasons. Some drink socially. Some drink to get drunk. Others just enjoy the taste and like to loosen up a bit. Still, many Oregonians take it too far. It seems that life in the state of Oregon leads people to the bottle. Whether it’s the grey weather, the citizenry’s propensity to fun, or just an ambivalent ‘why the hell not’ attitude, Oregon breeds boozers. I can’t speak for other people that may boast of their state’s inclination to alcohol, but come on; Portland’s got more breweries per capita than other city in the nation. That’s no wonder when you consider the abundance of malted grains, clear mountain water and world-class hops found in Oregon. So who cares if you’re working early tomorrow, let’s get another pitcher as we round up some Oregon booze news.

Brewers from five continents earned awards from an elite international panel of judges this week in the seventh bi-annual Brewers Association World Beer Cup. This year, 644 breweries from 58 countries and 45 U.S. states vied for awards with 2,864 beers entered in 91 style categories. The top three entries in each category won gold, silver and bronze medals. In addition the competition gives "Champion Brewery" and "Champion Brewer" awards in each of five brewery categories based on the medals won by each brewery. Brewers from the United States won 185 of the 268 style category awards and four of the five Champion Brewery/Brewer awards...and Oregon won half of those! Everybody knows Bridgeport, Pyramid, Widmer and Rogue breweries but Pelican Brewery took home top honors as well in the large brewpub category while Bend Brewing Company won the small brewpub category. State pride! Go Oregon! Drink up!

Carnie fight! Some carnival workers got in a drunken fight in Medford. I guess they were arguing about taking breaks from the ring toss. During the fracas, one of them bit another’s thumb off, which a police dog later found. It was too mangled and contaminated with carnie germs to reattach so, by default, he became yet another member of the amputee carnie club. The following day, the two warring factions again did battle (allegedly sober), this time clubbing each other in the face with tree branches. Police again responded and took them all to jail. The carnies, I think there were six in total, all lost their jobs. You’ve gotta be a pretty serious fuck-up to get fired from the traveling trash contingent so I guess even carnival operators have standards.

Two women recently made local headlines for getting DUIs. In unrelated incidents, both ladies were about six times the legal limit with .55 and .47 blood alcohol levels. That’s like half their blood man; their hearts were pumping liquor-diluted plasma. I think that actually might be a legitimate cocktail in some foreign land; sheep’s blood and a strong liquor to kill some germs. Anyway, doctors were consulted and said that blood alcohol levels that high have killed people before. These ladies however, were no lightweights. Both had prior convictions for driving under the influence and one was even a former police detective. I wonder how a person, any person, seasoned drinker or not, can function with that much booze in their system. How’d they make it to their cars? How’d they get the keys in the ignition? Who served them that much alcohol? One lady didn’t even make it out of the bar parking lot—she was discovered passed out in her car with the engine running. It’s scary to think that drunks are out there cruising the streets, putting everyone around them at risk.

Please drink responsibly.